More than a decade ago, I started out on my mothering journey with a simple premise: I was going to love the little baby growing inside of me like no one else could.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tap tap tap... Hello?

Its been a LONG while since I have done any blogging. Over the past couple years, I've primarily posted snippets of my life over on Facebook, and done the occasional personal journal (sharing only with select few if desired). I'm stepping back from Facebook for the moment though, as I reassess my life and health, so thought I might hang out in here. 

Therefore...  Hello! Anyone else around? :-)

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Sunday, February 10, 2013

10 Things I have Learned in the Last Six Weeks

In no particular order, a few things I have learned over the past six weeks:

- Sugar and Starch are not so great for my body.  They seem to promote inflammation and bloating.

- I am reactive to Black Pepper.  Bummer!  No wonder I was getting burning, searing stomach pain "Every time I eat!"  We're still not clear on nightshades, so time will tell.

- I don't particularly like turkey broth.

- I do like wild salmon.  Yum!

- Salt is amazing.  Like, really.

- Also amazing? L-glutamine.  I feel like my life is being transformed.  I will refrain from giving you the gruesome details, but I will say that my digestive system is much happier these days.  I mix it with some broth a few times a day. I was scared I would react to it, as I get terrible migraines with vomiting from MSG.  My ND reassured me that it should not cause that kind of reaction, and to my great relief, it hasn't! Quite the opposite in fact.

- Not amazing? Bovine colostrum.  I know it can be a miracle product for some folks, but I am no less allergic to cow colostrum than I am cow milk.  The sooner I wrap my brain around the fact that I can *never*cheat and eat cheese or milk chocolate without consequences, the better off I will be.

- I can, in fact, survive without coffee, soy lattes, and chocolate.  However, the withdrawal process is absolutely brutal.  Even after the initial physical symptoms had passed, I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole for a week or two.

- It takes more than a few days to recover from chronic autoimmune conditions.  Even when you go into a regimen expecting it to take months, it can be brutal.  

And the big one:
- Waking up with a glimmer of hope is a huge step.  If I can have even one day at baseline, it means that there may be more of those days in my future.

Thanks to my family and friends who have been giving me so much moral support in my attempts to find health and wellness.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Happy New Year?

I haven't been online much. We had some birthdays, and Gift as, and winter break. Then right back into the swing of things. School, homeschool, appointments, et al. It's busy around here.

And I am tired. On January 1st I started an elimination diet. I've been struggling with stomach pain, and intestinal distress, and other unpleasant symptoms for a while. It finally got bad enough that I was willing to do whatever it takes to figure out why my body was going haywire. I gotta be honest. Three weeks in, and this diet still sucks.

The basics are built around Whole 9 | Whole 30. No grains. No sugars or sweeteners. No Dairy. And the tough one- no legumes.  That didn't sound so bad. Meat, veggies, eggs, broth, and healthy fats.  Well, it was, because veggies have been triggering tummy pain. And eating had gotten scary. So my "safe list" for the first week was turkey, lamb, and coconut.  Do you know how old it gets to eat 3 foods plain? Ugh. And tea. Lots of tea to wean off my caffeine habit.

So I am 3 weeks in. I am less bloated. But still tired. Eggs are out. Nightshades are out. Both spinach and chard were ugly. My energy is up and down. My mood.... Eh.  I really just want to feel well. I am happy not to have searing stomach pain anymore, every time I eat. I'm a bit lonely and tired of not knowing what's going on with my body.

In happier news, my children are delightful. My oldest is doing riding lessons again, which she loves. My 4 yo has started vision therapy, and that's a lot of fun. My youngest, now 2, is quite the personality. She loves playing with her sister. They are having a blast with the duplos she got for Giftmas.  My son seems to be doing well in school. My 10 yo is a busy girl, interested in art, drama, science and Lego. I'm happy her school meets her needs so well.

We have so much to look forward to this year.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Happy Birthdays

My little boy is 8.  I can't believe it.  Eight!  He is so smart and beautiful.  I want to go on and on about him, but I just have no words.  When he was little, my life was utterly consumed with the day to day details.  He was such a busy little guy, and I had two other kids to homeschool as well.  He grew, and was happy, but didn't talk.  And he climbed, and ran, and laughed, and made car noises, but didn't talk.  And he was diagnosed with ASD, and slowly began to talk.  And then, he didn't stop.  Now he is a happy, busy, TALKATIVE little dude.  He runs around at the playground, exploring.  He spends hours playing Mario, and Minecraft, and telling us ALL ABOUT IT.  I am so grateful to be his mom.  I hope I can be all that he deserves.

My youngest girl is about to turn two.  My special surprise!  She is quite the character.  Running, climbing, playing drawing.  Skinny little tot, but who wouldn't be that moved all the time?  If only I could get her to sleep a little more, and eat a full meal all at once.  I'm so happy to be her mama too.  I can't believe that my baby days are drawing to a close.  I hope and pray that the next 14 years of motherhood are as wonderful as the first 14.

Life is good.

Thursday, December 6, 2012


It's getting cold outside. This morning I preheated my car. I put my boy on the bus and then called up to my 10 year old to get moving. Still dressed in my PJs, I wrapped my favorite sweater tighter and hopped in the van to drive her to school. We drove to Starbucks instead, just the two of us. She told me about how well she is doing in math class, and how happy she is with her red peekaboo hair. It was a little thing, to take that detour to Starbucks. It made us both happy though.

Now I'm parked out front. The sky is grey and cloudy. The wind is blowing hard- trees away swaying, and my neighbor's flag is whipping back and forth. The wind is loud, too, gusting against my car. It's growing cold out there. Blessedly, I am warm. I have coffee in my belly, and love in my heart. At a time of year in which many find themselves stuck in a consumeristic gift giving rut, I feel intensely grateful for all that I have.

Today, I hope to set aside some of the hustle and bustle of everyday mothering. I hope to sit down with each of my children and offer them whatever they need to feel warm and loved. I think we all want to offer that to each of our children, every day. Sometimes it's good to refocus on our love for them with intention. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Just being Mama

I haven't felt up to writing much lately.  I had plans to submit posts to a couple blog carnivals this week.  Though I had ideas and thoughts I wanted to share, I never got around to it.  I've been busy just being Mama.  We returned home from visiting family in the Midwest.  It was a wonderful, wonderful trip.  I am beyond thankful that my husband was willing to take that time off to be with us and our extended family.  However, since we've been back, I've felt a bit like I've been drifting around in a daze.  Not quite back in my groove, needing a bit more sleep than usual, stepping away from the computer to connect with my loved ones...  Needing to get caught up on laundry and housework, and prepping for birthdays and Giftmas, but not quite up to the task.

My only son, my third child, is about to turn 8.  Somehow, that feels huge.  In a few weeks, my baby will be turning two. I gave her crib away today, to a mom who needed it.  I didn't cry when she left, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad.  My babies are all growing up.  Next year all but my youngest will be school age.  I find myself wanting to savor my time as the Mama, before I graduate to "Mom" and occasionally "Mother." (Complete with eye roll, of course!)

Time feels short.  As fantastic as it was visiting with family, it really hammered home how short life it.  Before I know it, my youngest child could be getting married, jetting off to Tahiti, and building their own creative life.  I am so, so blessed to have these amazing people in my life.  My children, my parents, my grandparents, and my friends, especially my husband.  I hope to find, this winter, better balance not just in my busy schedule, but in my life, my soul, my every breath.

To all of my family and friends, and the friends I haven't met yet, I wish you peace and love this winter season.